I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
