I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
