buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
