lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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