so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
