Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm bleeding and have questions
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