Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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