One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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