Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
