Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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