Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
