they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize