I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Randomize
