Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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