he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
