just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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