why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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