Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
