WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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