Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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