Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
