I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
