sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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