you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
