I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
