So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
