That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
