Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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