Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
