Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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