he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
