You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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