omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
