Screwed.edu
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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