I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
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They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
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i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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