Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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