If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
