guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
