Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
