the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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