and my herpes radar will keep us safe
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
