he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
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After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
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I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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