Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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