Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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