it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
