is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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