my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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