I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
