I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
