So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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