let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize