It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
