so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
