I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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