Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
