oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
she woke up with a sticky ear
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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