I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
