I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
