I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
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nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
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Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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