New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
